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After his brother Robeson disappears without a trace while exploring Africa in search of a legendary ‘white tribe’, Allan Quatermain decides to follow in his footsteps to learn what became of him. Soon after arriving, he discovers the Lost City of Gold, controlled by the evil lord Agon, and mined by his legions of white slaves.
Between his tax problems and his legal battle with his wife for the custody of his daughter, these are hard times for the action movie star who finds that even Steven Seagal has pinched a role from him! Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to the country of his birth to seek the peace and tranquility he can no longer enjoy in the United States.
While on detention, a group of misfits and slackers have to write a letter to the President explaining what is wrong with the education system. There is only one problem, the President loves it! Hence, the group must travel to Washington to meet the Main Man.
At first glance, Mica seems a perfectly normal boy. But first glances can often be deceiving… For one, Mica’s house is now a museum honouring Guillermo Garibai, the legendary Mexican crooner. Mica spends most of his time there, giving guided tours to aging Garibai fans. But stranger still, Mica smells. He smells like fish. Numerous doctors, his life-long therapist and even his own parents are at a loss. No one wants to be Mica’s friend. Girls won’t talk to him. His life appears pointless, uneventful, doomed. That is, until Laura walks into it.
At one of his many visits to his doctor, hypochondriac George Kimball mistakes a dying man’s diagnosis for his own and believes he only has about two more weeks to live. Wanting to take care of his wife Judy, he doesn’t tell her and tries to find her a new husband. When he finally does tell her, she quickly finds out he’s not dying at all (while he doesn’t) and she believes it’s just a lame excuse to hide an affair, so she decides to leave him.
On 17-year-old Kate’s last weekend in town, she and her friends plan to spend it together at SpaceCON– the local science fiction convention they attend every year. At the convention Kate meets Paul, a recently turned teen-vampire (who is also dressed as one). But when Kate tries to make a move on him, he accidentally bites her in the neck. Kate and her friends soon discover Paul is not the only vampire at the convention, and it is up to them to stop the vampires and find a way to turn Kate back before it is too late.
A woman leaves for a quiet weekend in the country after losing her job and imploding her latest dysfunctional relationship. She rents a country house from an old-fashioned widower who’s struggling to hide his psychopathic tendencies. Soon, two generations collide with terrifying results.